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A.P. Murphy's avatar

A very interesting vignette. I feel it sets up for something impactful, but then stops. An extension would be perfect.

Do you write also in Catalan? I just got started writing in that language for a local open mic group. It's quite difficult, a challenge but at least I can count on some people to help me.

Ausiàs Tsel's avatar

Thanks, A.P. The stop is the shape: Lluís hanging there, door shut, Empar setting the table for three. Anything after that becomes either rescue or explicit harm, and both feel like footnoting what’s already in the room. But the form does ask something of the reader, that’s a fair flag.

On Catalan: yes, primarily. I write in Valencian (same language as what you’re hearing in Barcelona, different accent). Open mic in a new language is hard and useful in equal measure. If you want a second pair of eyes on a draft at some point, I’m here.

A.P. Murphy's avatar

Structurally it's very like something I did in a piece that's coming out soon in Dylan Bosworth's mag, with a similar scenario - it also ends suspended like that. But I'm also developing the same scenario in a much longer piece.

That is one I also did in Spanish, but that version was a bit unimpressive and I think it needs a rework once the new version comes out with Dylan.

For my work in Catalan I've been keeping it veryshort, like this one (but I never read stuff like this at open mic as it would shock the old ladies a bit too much)

https://laextraneza.substack.com/p/cementiri-de-criatures

Thanks very much for your offer with Catalan pieces, I may well ask you for help at a later date. Fins aviat

Ausiàs Tsel's avatar

Read it. Posted a comment over there. Looking forward to the Bosworth one whenever it comes out. Fins aviat.

Wendy Cockcroft's avatar

I was going to ask for a reason for this, but there never is one, is there? Cruelty does what it does.

Ausiàs Tsel's avatar

It’s the most dark horror, isn’t it? There is no need for a reason, only banality. The monsters have migraines, heartburns, need Tums, that’s what makes them horrible. They are like us.

Wendy Cockcroft's avatar

Exactly. It's easier to fear a monster than Monsieur Tout-le-monde.